I’d like to start my update by offering a deep, deep gratitude to the Divine, to all of you, my family, my friends, my soul gang. We are past the crisis and into what our new normal might look like. I am in what our family calls after tension. It’s a feeling that is hard to describe but one our family coined after we noticed we felt some sort of way after we’d been through a tough hospitalization for Cory or some other traumatic event. It is hard to let go of that sense of being on alert, waiting for that next shoe to fall. It takes a moment to drop the hyper vigilance and to trust that all is once again well in our world. Not perfect but well. The surges of adrenaline that have sustained me for 18 days have stopped. I feel the exhaustion. I feel the relief.
Raymond is doing great. I woke up to him sitting on love seat with his headphones on, eye mask over his eyes listening to soothing music. Even though he was up throughout the night for bathroom visits (he’s trying to stay hydrated) he did not need supplemental oxygen. He has been awake most of the day with one nap late this morning for about an hour and a half. He is able to focus on movies again, sorted mail. No signs of continuing brain fog.
He is in a very quiet space most of the time. This experience has changed him. I’m not sure how yet but I see it and sense it. His gratitude is enormous. I hear it in his voice and he expresses his gratitude and his love more easily to those he loves.
We don’t know what tomorrow will bring but for today, we are at peace. We are tired. We know this journey is not quite over, however we have made it through the Fire. He, we are recovering.
My gratitude tonight goes not only to all of you, but to the medical personnel that came into contact with Raymond. From the EMT’s, the nurses, doctors, respiratory therapists, lab technicians, to the staff of the hospital. Their willingness to do their jobs in these times of uncertainty is heroic. They are calm, patient and kind which I know has to be hard because of their work schedules and what they must bear witness to has to be disheartening. This virus is not the flu. It looks nothing like the flu. It’s consequences, if you survive, are still not fully known. I appreciate the honesty of the doctors and nurses. They were willing to say that there was just so much that they don’t know and that what works for one doesn’t necessarily work for another. I am grateful to the Covid survivors and those who transitioned. They are instrumental in helping us learn more about this virus.
You know the drill. Wear your mask. Stay home. We are surging all over the country. Oh, by the way, Raymond has an appointment with the infectious disease doctor that tended to him in the hospital on (as Ray puts it) “the eleventh day of the eleventh month at the eleventh hour”. That day is also the 4 year Angelversary of his father’s transition. How’s that for a synchronicity. If any of my woowoo friends get any hits on that...let me know. Did I say I’m tired? I’m tired. I’m going to bed. Good night!
Raymond’s day in pictures...