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Monday, May 2, 2022

Find A Way

Yesterday morning I was participating in a Sacred Cacao Ceremony facilitated by the fabulous Candace Blair of If you are not familiar with Candace check her out. She is a Kundalini yoga teacher, sounder healer, incredible alchemist. The Sacred Cacao Goddess came to me and shared the following message. It was such a poignant message for me for, as you all know, I live with several disease processes that are currently playing out in my energetic field. Often there is self-blame and shame that comes with illness in the physical body. I work REALLY hard at self care and healing and yet I still find myself beating myself up for being where I am. I recently was awaiting the results of four biopsies. That process threw me into such a state of fear. I had to face every fear I thought I had already faced around dying, living with even more disease and losing even more of my quality of life. Thankfully all of the biopsies were negative. This message from our Mother after this very intense period in my life was much like a rainstorm in a barren desert. For me, it takes away the shame and the blame and the self-recrimination. It empowers me to take responsibility for my life in a way that is life affirming and kind. If I’ve learned anything through my journey with Sclereoderma, PAH, it is to be kind to my self. May Her message find it’s way into your heart and free you to forgive yourself, to truly love yourself and your process and to KNOW that whatever is happening in your body is LIFE (Love In Full Expression). That we, just as all of nature does, moves towards the light. We may have to have our times in the darkness of Her Womb but there will always be a birth.


Find a way to LIFE (Love In Full Expression).
Fertile Soil, ever evolving - concrete - finding a way to express LIFE (Love In Full Expression).

Nothing dies. It just evolves and changes. Even from destruction new LIFE grows.

The Earth, Our Mother, is hardwired to be Love In Full Expression (LIFE) no matter what is thrown at her. She will choose LIFE (Love In Full Expression). Bombs, climate change, oil spills - the message of the Mother, the Maker of All Things, is Find A Way. She speaks…

“I will find a way. I will bide my time and use this to evolve, to transform to change, to become that which perhaps has never existed before.”

As I have wrestled with my physical body, I am the flower busting through that crack in the sidewalk. My soil perhaps not the most fertile, perhaps not enough water or nutrients, but Here I Am. I pushed through in that continual cycle of birth that is LIFE (Love In Full Expression).

My tulips every year show me this cycle. They bloom and give me hope and then they are gone. Transformed to wait for a whole year for the opportunity to shine again and give someone hope. She speaks…

“Nothing is ever destroyed just transformed. I am the Soil, I am the crack in the sidewalk. I am the alchemist that transmutes the “poisons” and creates LIFE anew over and over and over again for ever and ever.

There is no beginning and no end. Just a continual cycle of LIFE (Love In Full Expression). There is only Find A Way. Trust the Dark. Trust the Light for it is ALL LIFE. All of it. Even that which you would term destruction.

Illness in your body is your opportunity to be One with Me in alchemizing and transforming and Finding A Way to LIFE…Love In Full Expression.

Wholeness means all of it. Experiencing All of it and being awed by the transformation instead of fearful of what is a natural cycle of LIFE…birth - a continual birth from one state to the next. There is no death, just transformation. Find A Way. Push through the darkness much as a seed pushes through the darkness of my soil. Find a Way to the Light of LIFE (Love In Full Expression)”.

Art: I call this Birth. It is a little doodle I did one day in my art journal a few weeks ago when I was praying on the Creative Rosary. I drew her in the middle of this dark cycle. The Divine Mother giving me hope and encouragement.