Search This Blog

Tuesday, April 21, 2020


She Who Speaks Wisdom-Sunflower Goddess

History will not look kindly on you. I often hear people saying this to our nation‘s leaders, leaders of corporations and those in positions of authority. I cringe every time I hear it. It triggered me on some level. So I decided to dig deeper. Who cares how history will view us? I wonder why we care more about how “history“ will look upon us than how we look at ourselves in this moment. I am here in this moment now. The question I ask is, how does one look at the disparity all around them and look in the mirror and be OK with that.

If you are not part of the solution you are part of the problem. Another question I ask is; am I doing enough? If someone were to ask me, will history look kindly on you, I would hope that I have lived a life where I could answer that in the affirmative. But truly, I don’t care so much about a legacy as I do about who I am being in each and every moment of this existence.

Most of my life has been about survival. Surviving my childhood, surviving the traumas of every day life, and when I wasn’t surviving I was thriving. When I was thriving, I was ministering. One to one, sometimes to small groups; but always asking how can I serve?

I wanted to become a minister of some sort, but having been raised Catholic I could not always wrap my brain around a woman as a minister (that s**t runs deep), nor could I find a doctrine or religion that could encompass my relationship with the Divine. It seemed my Native bloodline and my Iberian Peninsula bloodline were forever at war in me.

I am influenced by my roots – my Latina, Native, and Catholic roots. I have had to meld them into a Spirituality that feeds my Soul. It entailed connecting to that still small voice inside. It entailed fanning the spark of the Divine into a full fledged flame of passion. I could best connect to Source one on one. That still small voice awakens me at night. That still small voice encourages me to write, to paint, to create. That still small voice listens as I pour out my heartache. It listens when I pour forth my joy and gratitude. And if I get really, really quiet, I hear it’s wisdom, I feel it’s peace. I feel nourished by the effort to achieve a silent state.

In my daily journal practice, I speak to this voice inside and wait for wisdom which is almost always forthcoming. And sometimes there’s just silence. I sit with that for THIS is where the real gifts reside.

Many years ago, when I was yet again bemoaning the fact that I could not find the correct place for the study of my divinity and becoming a minister, a friend of mine, Dianne, said to me, “Raven, you don’t need permission to minister. All you need is God’s permission and that you have! Go forth and minister”. From that moment forward I no longer looked for permission to minister. Miriam-Webster defines the word minister as giving aid and service. My friend Dianne was right! I can do that! Dianne is in Spirit now. Gone much too soon. I will be forever grateful for her willingness to share her truth with me. It changed my life. I stopped worrying about what others would think. I stopped asking for permission not just to minister but to BE whoever and whatever I chose in any given moment.

I wake up every morning and my prayer is how may I serve? Sometimes it’s one on one. Sometimes it’s a group. Sometimes it's an act I perform for someone. Sometimes it’s the words I write or the phone call I make. Sometimes it’s sitting in the stillness. Sometimes it’s praying with my drum or through my movement.

This COVID-19 quarantine has taken me even deeper into looking at where I still may be holding on to belief systems that no longer serve. I find the pockets of disharmony and I notice. I breathe and I notice some more. I allow myself to sit in the discomfort, my history tells me that when I do, disharmony becomes Grace, Mercy, Peace, Gratitude. This solitary time has allowed me to become creative in my ministering. I’ve learned to use technology and platforms I never before had a desire to use.

In the silence, I hear these words:

"Be not afraid to sit in the silence even if you have designated the time for talking. It is in these moments that you can assist in anchoring in more love, more peace, more light, more gratitude. Try to not hang on to structure and schedules. Be present to and in the moment. The schedule and structure will adapt and adjust as will you. For you are resilient."

Let me tell you about the art. I've named her Sunflower Goddess -She Who Speaks Wisdom 
Continually striving to strike a balance between action and stillness. I created this piece in the 90’s. At the time it was representative of my connection to Source, to my higher self, and to the still small voice I was still doubting. Over the years it has become my friend, my solace. I trust it implicitly.

Even though it has become a cliche (most most truths do) I know myself to be a spiritual being having a human experience. I believe my Spirit is here, not to subjugate my human, but to co-create and work in conjunction with each other so that as a human, I exemplify the qualities of Grace, Mercy, Gratitude, Honesty, Humility, Integrity and Love.

So when someone says how will history look at you? I say, I don’t care. I want to know how you and I will serve today. When I hear, history will not look kindly on you, yes I cringe. I only have this moment to be this Spirit in this human body and I don’t want to waste it anymore concerning myself with legacy, mine or anyone else’s. I wish to be present to myself and every human being I encounter. I choose to be generous with my mind, with my heart, with my spirit. I may not always agree with someone else, however, I choose to see that they, too, are a child of The Divine. I may have to love them at a distance but I don’t have to judge them or see them as less than me because I don’t agree with them. Go forth and minister, indeed! That means starting with me.

Monday, April 13, 2020


I am appalled by my privilege.

Privilege is when you think something is not a problem because it is not a problem to you personally.

I recently read the book, The Undocumented Americans by Karla Cornejo Villavicencio.  Even though I am a woman of color, labeled a senior citizen, labeled disabled because I have a medical condition that requires the use of oxygen, I am appalled by my privilege. Reading this book I felt sad. I felt outraged. I felt helpless. I felt powerless. But mostly I felt the weight of my privilege. The privilege I enjoy because I was born on the “correct“ side of the border by 40 miles. The privilege that has come to me because my parents, who were dirt poor in their childhood and in the early years of mine, took advantage of the opportunities presented to them and created space and opportunities for me to grow in my privilege.

I know poverty and the violence that comes with it. I grew up with it in my home and it is steeped in my DNA. It was an ancestral legacy passed down from generation to generation. I know trauma brain. I also know abundance because my parents also passed down a legacy of hard work and taking advantage of opportunity. That is a privilege I had because of the work ethic my parents modeled. My parents became in my later childhood years what one would call middle class. And again I was afforded the privilege that comes with that.

I read the stories in Karla‘s book and I am sickened at the cruelty we humans can inflict on one another. I am ashamed of my privilege at the same time that I am grateful for my parents, my husband, my own hard work at achieving a measure of privilege. I am forever changed by this book. It touched me on so many levels. The poverty.  The Love. The cruelty. The Love. The mental illness created by trauma. The Love.

In this era in which we are living where the color of your skin makes you suspect, I have a modicum of fear. But I have a passport. Even if detained I can prove I was born here. I cannot begin to entertain the level of fear endured by those who have lived, worked, paid taxes in this country for most of their lives and yet are expendable.

It isn’t that I wasn’t aware of what has been taking place in this country. And it has definitely been in our face for the last four years. But I must have numbed myself because it was too overwhelming to contemplate this reality for too long. I don’t know really. I can excuse it and say I had a child with a serious medical condition to raise. I was distracted. Perhaps. But I can no longer deny this ugly, ugly side of the American dream.

Karla’s words, the pictures she paints with words, are seared in my brain. I can no longer look away or numb myself.

I want to do more. What can a 66 year old “senior citizen“, brown-skinned woman on oxygen do? I don’t want to just put this book on the shelf and forget about it. I want everyone to read it. I want white people and privileged people of color to read it. I dare you to not be moved by the horror in which we are participating. And we are. For once you know, you can’t unknow, as @Oprah once stated. Read this book, please. Read it with an open mind. Allow it to shift your consciousness so that we may never again be OK with putting men, women and children in cages. That we may never again be OK with separating children from their parents. As Karla states in her book, the trauma brains we are creating will affect generations of men, women and children. We can’t afford to lose the talent that is being obliterated by our unwillingness to see those we have deemed unworthy and expendable.

All people have a right to dignity, respect, acknowledgment. People we are better than this. We are better than this.

Not being able to walk in someone else’s shoes is privilege.Take a walk in someone else's shoes. Read this book. Share this post. /Share this website.

Saturday, April 11, 2020


Yesterday morning I went live on Facebook with drumming and a message from Spirit. It was a big leap of faith for me. I was nervous and a little scared and all my self-doubts came up. Who do I think I am? What good is this going to do? Then I remembered that we all have to do our part during this pandemic. I am not a medical professional. I will not be on the front lines. My work is not considered essential at this time. So what can I do? I can be a voice in the wilderness. I can be the voice of encouragement. I can listen. I can share the beat of my drum with you. I can donate to food banks. I can check in on neighbors. We can do hard things. We’re not all being asked to be on the front lines. We’re being asked to shelter in place. We’re being asked to be kind to one another.

For those of you who joined me yesterday, thank you. Thank you for taking the time to hold space and to connect with me and with each other. Thank you for holding space for you, your family and your community. Holding space is nothing more than listening, listening with your heart.

In this time of what I am calling the Great Unknown or as my brother calls it, the Great Unifier; during this time of Spring, Easter and Passover, when our consciousness is aligned with matters of the Spirit, I ask that you accept and receive the Rebirth and Resurrection that this time of year represents regardless of how you worship.

We are so connected by this thing that we cannot see. This invisible virus that is wreaking havoc with our physical bodies, our emotions, our finances, and in every aspect of the world in which we live. Life is changing so quickly our collective head is spinning. Yet we find that we are in this together. This endurance test of isolation and fear and anxiety is creating common ground. It is something upon which we can all agree.

And just as this invisible force of a virus has created a connection of fear/anxiety, we can use an invisible force to combat that and create a new connection. That force is Love.

Love works like a web to connect us to each other and to all of creation, to All That Is. Love encompasses the qualities of kindness, joy, gratitude, peace, generosity.

I invite you to visit my Facebook page and allow yourself to connect to the best of the drum . Allow your heart to open to the love that you are. Allow your heart to open to the Oneness that we all share. See that expanding from your heart out into the group that will read this blog or watch the drumming video. See it expanding out into your community, into your city, into your state, your neighboring states, the whole continent, into neighboring countries and across the seas. See this web of love that we are creating encompass all that exists and will ever exist.

As we acknowledge our fears and anxieties I encourage you to just notice them (without feeling the need to fix them) and we are reminded of the healing that is also taking place. 

The Earth, our Mother, is reclaiming herself. We are seeing reports of cleaner skies over Wuhan, endangered sea turtles laying eggs by the thousands, skies are clearing and the Himalayas are visible. We see, as Mr. Rogers’ mother once told him, “the helpers” running into the firestorm. A Rebirth is taking place and each and everyone can do their part by staying home, lending a hand, lending an ear, connecting with one another. We may not all be deemed essential to leave our homes, however, we are all essential for the restoration and recovery of our planet, the people, animal life, plant life and water on it.

I ask that we hold space for those on the front lines. The healthcare workers. Our food suppliers. Our truckers. Our grocery store clerks and stockers. Our people working in plants and in the fields packaging and harvesting our food. Our unseen people. Our homeless brothers and sisters who have no home in which to shelter. Our undocumented people who are often at the front lines yet unseen or unaccounted for.

I ask that you imagine branches and a root system extending from your heart and throughout your body connecting you to those you love. Your family, your friends, your coworkers. Imagine their hearts opening to receive this wonderful web of light and love. See it take root and flower and expand outward from them to their loved ones, their friends and their coworkers. And so on and so on and so on in an ever expanding net of connectivity. See your heart connecting to every living being on this planet creating an even stronger net of connection.

Just as this virus is contagious so is this Love with a capital L. This Love that represents the Creator and all of her Creation.

The earth does not need us to cleanse herself. She is already doing that. She needs us to respect her. She needs us to respect that which she provides for those of us who are here only temporarily. She will continue to exist in one form or another. We are here to be Love, to be Compassion, to be Kindness, to be Inclusive, to be Generous!!! Not just with those we love but with those we find hard to love. For there is where the challenge lies. THAT, as my friend Suzie Myers said, is where the Light is birthed.

Let THAT Love radiate from our hearts. See it envelop every single being on the planet, every animal, plant, tree and living organism. May our Love grow and expand as we take care of each other.  Real care. And look to see where you can be a helper. Where can you donate money locally. Check out your local food banks. Find a family to adopt and help out. Leave a roll of toilet paper on your neighbor's doorstep. No act performed with Love and Kindness is too small. In the comments, post links to organizations that you believe are helping during this time of crisis in our world.

This Recovery, Rebirth, Resurrection will take a grassroots Revolution of Kindness and Generosity. We cannot wait for our leaders to catch up. We can reach out to our communities through our own efforts. How can you serve while you shelter in place?

I believe this is the true message of this season. I’ve had people mention that their Lenten season had been disrupted. Spirit tells me that this Lenten season we have been asked to give up so much more than chocolate or soda. We have been asked to sacrifice for others so that they may be safe.We have been asked to sacrifice time with our children, grandchildren, parents and extended family. These are the sacrifices that hurt us at our core setting the stage for a softening and appreciation for what we may have taken for granted. We have been asked to be the Living Christ and to step out of the behavior that created the crucifixion in the first place. The fear of someone that was other than the norm. It is fear of others, fear of those we perceive as different that leads us to accuse and persecute. Jesus was considered other during his time on this planet. Step out of that in yourself. Step away from that place of judgement and see the Christ in those whom you perceive as less worthy of acceptance and care. Perhaps you will see the Christ reflected back to you.

To be honest I am feeling that the Lenten season is more front and center than ever before. For me this time of year has been about the Christ being Resurrected in each one of us and living that. I feel that happening. More people are reaching out for what is real in them and in others. We are learning to become vulnerable with each other because we have been forced into vulnerability.

AND take a deep breathe, my friends and family.  We were born for this. We are capable of generating so much Love and holding so much space that those on the front lines are free to do their jobs knowing that we are doing ours. So that those working on solutions might see our efforts and be inspired to see things differently. Holding space creates safety and when one feels safe new solutions and ideas burst forth. Creativity abounds. Align yourself with the heartbeat of the drum. Allow it to align you with the heartbeat of our Mother, our Earth. Let us all heal together. Let us all embody the message of Resurrection and Rebirth. And may we all aspire to living the Christ Consciousness in word and deed.